Today is historic. We will either elect our first African American president or we will elect our first female vice-president. And, there is plenty of information around us that reminds us of how important this election is; the new president and vice-president will have important work ahead of them.
The polls are open - there is still time to vote!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Improving a Woman's Intuition
Many of us women think we have an intuitive edge that gives us insight into situations that play out before our eyes; we may think that we know what is “really” going on while others may “appear” to be oblivious. Often we may be correct.
However, if we want to maintain or improve what we may view as “a woman’s intuition”, it might be wise to challenge ourselves to improved accuracy. Wouldn’t it be great to have an even more highly tuned ability to understand the world around us and be “super intuitive”? How can we become super intuitive?
Three Opportunities to Improve Our Abilities:
1) Understand the difference between high context and low context communication
2) Develop self-awareness and self-concept
3) Practice critical thinking skills
If we are overconfident in our woman’s intuition, then we are likely to lose it over time because we get into an “I’m so intuitive, I must be right” framework of thinking. However, if we maintain the framework that “I am intuitive, but I need to challenge myself to improve my intuitive abilities” then whatever natural intuitive skills we have will be enhanced by our dedication to personal growth in this area. Olympic athletes are likely to have biological factors working in their favor just as our intuition may be built into us, but athletes know that what makes them the best in the world is their dedication to continued improvement. To be at a gold medal level with regard to demonstrating our women’s intuition, we need to be committed to continued improvement, too.
Want to ponder this more?
High Context-Low Context
Indirect & Direct, Implicit and Explicit
High context communication is characterized by indirect language and meaning that is not explicitly stated. Some cultures are more likely to use high context versus low context communication; China is considered a high context culture and the United States is considered to be a relatively low context culture.
If we consider the United States for a moment as the macro-culture, then we can think of men and women as members of American micro-cultures; in this paradigm, women tend to demonstrate more high context characteristics than men. You may have heard the example of a woman saying to her husband, “the garbage is full” when she really means, “will you take out the garbage?” or “you should take out the garbage NOW”. The husband, as a likely member of the low context male American culture, might simply take the wife’s words at face value without interpreting the meaning any further. In this case, rather than taking the garbage out he may respond with “yes, it is full”. If this is his response, then he missed the implicit request or command that she thinks should be obvious to him but, in truth, all she really did was to make an explicit statement of fact: the garbage is full. Her choice of words can be described as indirect language while a direct statement would have been something like, “Mike, please take the garbage out to the dumpster”.
To come at that from another angle, consider another scenario. The husband says, “That model is really skinny”, as the 6 foot tall woman who weighs 100 pounds walks by on the runway; he thinks he is just making a statement of fact. However, his high context wife may respond with, “I know you think I need to lose weight, but don’t think you can get me to go to the gym with you by comparing me to unrealistic ideals!” She heard his low context message through her high context filter.
What about intuition? Those examples above are about communication, aren’t they? Well, what we want to protect and grow is our woman’s intuition. For example, a husband and wife are talking with the friend. The friend walks away and the wife says, “Wow, our friend is really feeling overwhelmed by the economy”. The husband says, “She didn’t say that - how do you know that?” The wife says, “I just know - it’s my woman’s intuition”. In this example, the wife’s high context filters may have allowed her to hear the messages of the friend with clarity even though the friend did not explicitly state her concern with the economy. In contrast, the husband’s low context filters missed the implicit messages that were present and detected by the wife. In this case, a woman’s intuition may be related to her ability to function well in a high context situation where implicit or indirect language has shared meanings with the speaker (friend) and listener (wife).
If we can ask ourselves whether people around us are more direct or indirect communicators, we may be better at reading into what they say (as they intended it) or accepting what they say at face value (without using our own high context meanings and misapplying them to another person). It is likely that being high context female communicators can contribute to or take away from our ability to interpret what is happening around us. What is especially complicated about this is that while I have asserted that when women are compared to men, the men tend to be low context, direct and explicit in their communication, this is a generality and not a rule. Therefore, we need to be able to adapt to high context and low context exchanges with men AND women if we are going to be super intuitive.
Self-Awareness & Self-Concept
One characteristic of people with highly developed self-awareness and a healthy self-concept is an ability to think about their thinking with little or no emotional response. With a high level of self awareness, we can easily recognize our mental frameworks and acknowledge what fits and what does not fit within our current perceptions. If we get emotional, feel hurt, feel angry or feel afraid when we are challenged by someone else’s assertions it can be a cue informing us that we have a soft spot, insecurity or lack of comfort with our own self-concept related to that topic or issue. Another way to describe this is that if we feel “attacked” or “put down” or “criticized” and we respond emotionally, we probably have some self-awareness and self-concept work to do.
In contrast, if we are able to respond rationally (not emotionally), then we demonstrate that we are at least able to take in new, contrary information and process it at some level; this is a basis for openness, learning and growing and it is a sign of self-awareness and a healthy self-concept. By purposefully developing our self-awareness and our self-concept, we are less likely to “blame” others because of our own personal blind spots and sensitivities; this can potentially increase our ability to demonstrate a woman’s intuition.
Critical Thinking Skills
Finally, critical thinking skills are useful in many areas of personal life. For example, by improving our critical thinking, we can be better friends, spouses, students, citizens (voters), leaders, team members, employees, entrepreneurs and representatives of our faith communities. When coupled with good interpersonal skills, people with good critical thinking skills are likely to have better relationships and be more influential because they can help identify and resolve obstacles to deeper understanding while also managing the conflict that is often necessary for growth. Without critical thinking skills, we are vulnerable to everyday occurrences like internet rumors, political smear campaigns and resisting learning opportunities that are conveniently placed right in front of us. Critical thinking skills are sometimes noted as the optimum outcome of education because it is not necessarily what we learn that makes us successful, but often it is our ability to think effectively.
Now, let’s return to applying this concept directly to a woman’s intuition. If we are overconfident in our intuitive abilities, then we are likely to accept our impressions of what is happening around us without actively engaging in a critical thinking process. If we are overconfident in our intuitive abilities, then we may also only notice information that supports our current frame of mind. Through critical thinking, we question our impressions and underlying assumptions in order to create opportunities that lead us to more accurate perceptions; if our initial impressions don’t hold up to our challenges, then we reject those initial impressions and look for more information that will help us reach a better understanding.
For example, is that mom who is yelling at her child a “bad mom” or did something we don’t know about occur that led to the out of character yelling? Did that man in the other department get fired because he was a bad employee or because he stood up for values that the company did not demonstrate? What is it about her personality or mood that caused her to act that way? Why were the police cars really at the neighbor’s house? What motivated her to ask that question? If we are too quick to endorse our assumptions, we close the door on thinking and understanding. But, if we apply critical thinking skills and challenge ourselves with questions and ask others clarifying questions, our commitment to continued thinking opens doors of learning, deeper understanding and the possibility of becoming super intuitive.
Let’s go for the gold and develop our women’s intuitions!
However, if we want to maintain or improve what we may view as “a woman’s intuition”, it might be wise to challenge ourselves to improved accuracy. Wouldn’t it be great to have an even more highly tuned ability to understand the world around us and be “super intuitive”? How can we become super intuitive?
Three Opportunities to Improve Our Abilities:
1) Understand the difference between high context and low context communication
2) Develop self-awareness and self-concept
3) Practice critical thinking skills
If we are overconfident in our woman’s intuition, then we are likely to lose it over time because we get into an “I’m so intuitive, I must be right” framework of thinking. However, if we maintain the framework that “I am intuitive, but I need to challenge myself to improve my intuitive abilities” then whatever natural intuitive skills we have will be enhanced by our dedication to personal growth in this area. Olympic athletes are likely to have biological factors working in their favor just as our intuition may be built into us, but athletes know that what makes them the best in the world is their dedication to continued improvement. To be at a gold medal level with regard to demonstrating our women’s intuition, we need to be committed to continued improvement, too.
Want to ponder this more?
High Context-Low Context
Indirect & Direct, Implicit and Explicit
High context communication is characterized by indirect language and meaning that is not explicitly stated. Some cultures are more likely to use high context versus low context communication; China is considered a high context culture and the United States is considered to be a relatively low context culture.
If we consider the United States for a moment as the macro-culture, then we can think of men and women as members of American micro-cultures; in this paradigm, women tend to demonstrate more high context characteristics than men. You may have heard the example of a woman saying to her husband, “the garbage is full” when she really means, “will you take out the garbage?” or “you should take out the garbage NOW”. The husband, as a likely member of the low context male American culture, might simply take the wife’s words at face value without interpreting the meaning any further. In this case, rather than taking the garbage out he may respond with “yes, it is full”. If this is his response, then he missed the implicit request or command that she thinks should be obvious to him but, in truth, all she really did was to make an explicit statement of fact: the garbage is full. Her choice of words can be described as indirect language while a direct statement would have been something like, “Mike, please take the garbage out to the dumpster”.
To come at that from another angle, consider another scenario. The husband says, “That model is really skinny”, as the 6 foot tall woman who weighs 100 pounds walks by on the runway; he thinks he is just making a statement of fact. However, his high context wife may respond with, “I know you think I need to lose weight, but don’t think you can get me to go to the gym with you by comparing me to unrealistic ideals!” She heard his low context message through her high context filter.
What about intuition? Those examples above are about communication, aren’t they? Well, what we want to protect and grow is our woman’s intuition. For example, a husband and wife are talking with the friend. The friend walks away and the wife says, “Wow, our friend is really feeling overwhelmed by the economy”. The husband says, “She didn’t say that - how do you know that?” The wife says, “I just know - it’s my woman’s intuition”. In this example, the wife’s high context filters may have allowed her to hear the messages of the friend with clarity even though the friend did not explicitly state her concern with the economy. In contrast, the husband’s low context filters missed the implicit messages that were present and detected by the wife. In this case, a woman’s intuition may be related to her ability to function well in a high context situation where implicit or indirect language has shared meanings with the speaker (friend) and listener (wife).
If we can ask ourselves whether people around us are more direct or indirect communicators, we may be better at reading into what they say (as they intended it) or accepting what they say at face value (without using our own high context meanings and misapplying them to another person). It is likely that being high context female communicators can contribute to or take away from our ability to interpret what is happening around us. What is especially complicated about this is that while I have asserted that when women are compared to men, the men tend to be low context, direct and explicit in their communication, this is a generality and not a rule. Therefore, we need to be able to adapt to high context and low context exchanges with men AND women if we are going to be super intuitive.
Self-Awareness & Self-Concept
One characteristic of people with highly developed self-awareness and a healthy self-concept is an ability to think about their thinking with little or no emotional response. With a high level of self awareness, we can easily recognize our mental frameworks and acknowledge what fits and what does not fit within our current perceptions. If we get emotional, feel hurt, feel angry or feel afraid when we are challenged by someone else’s assertions it can be a cue informing us that we have a soft spot, insecurity or lack of comfort with our own self-concept related to that topic or issue. Another way to describe this is that if we feel “attacked” or “put down” or “criticized” and we respond emotionally, we probably have some self-awareness and self-concept work to do.
In contrast, if we are able to respond rationally (not emotionally), then we demonstrate that we are at least able to take in new, contrary information and process it at some level; this is a basis for openness, learning and growing and it is a sign of self-awareness and a healthy self-concept. By purposefully developing our self-awareness and our self-concept, we are less likely to “blame” others because of our own personal blind spots and sensitivities; this can potentially increase our ability to demonstrate a woman’s intuition.
Critical Thinking Skills
Finally, critical thinking skills are useful in many areas of personal life. For example, by improving our critical thinking, we can be better friends, spouses, students, citizens (voters), leaders, team members, employees, entrepreneurs and representatives of our faith communities. When coupled with good interpersonal skills, people with good critical thinking skills are likely to have better relationships and be more influential because they can help identify and resolve obstacles to deeper understanding while also managing the conflict that is often necessary for growth. Without critical thinking skills, we are vulnerable to everyday occurrences like internet rumors, political smear campaigns and resisting learning opportunities that are conveniently placed right in front of us. Critical thinking skills are sometimes noted as the optimum outcome of education because it is not necessarily what we learn that makes us successful, but often it is our ability to think effectively.
Now, let’s return to applying this concept directly to a woman’s intuition. If we are overconfident in our intuitive abilities, then we are likely to accept our impressions of what is happening around us without actively engaging in a critical thinking process. If we are overconfident in our intuitive abilities, then we may also only notice information that supports our current frame of mind. Through critical thinking, we question our impressions and underlying assumptions in order to create opportunities that lead us to more accurate perceptions; if our initial impressions don’t hold up to our challenges, then we reject those initial impressions and look for more information that will help us reach a better understanding.
For example, is that mom who is yelling at her child a “bad mom” or did something we don’t know about occur that led to the out of character yelling? Did that man in the other department get fired because he was a bad employee or because he stood up for values that the company did not demonstrate? What is it about her personality or mood that caused her to act that way? Why were the police cars really at the neighbor’s house? What motivated her to ask that question? If we are too quick to endorse our assumptions, we close the door on thinking and understanding. But, if we apply critical thinking skills and challenge ourselves with questions and ask others clarifying questions, our commitment to continued thinking opens doors of learning, deeper understanding and the possibility of becoming super intuitive.
Let’s go for the gold and develop our women’s intuitions!
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About Me
- FunMoms
- Caron is a coach, consultant and psychology teacher. She is also an artist and the author of Fun Places to Go with Kids in Metro-Phoenix.
